I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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