it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
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