why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
