I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
