Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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