If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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