how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
