Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
