Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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