Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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