im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
