problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
COCAINE IS GR8
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
