Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
