Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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