Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
