My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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