Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
PANTIES FOUND
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize