I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
