.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
