Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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