Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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