420 ftw
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
