Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
