i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
