Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
