How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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