come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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