See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
