We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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