So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
