I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
