Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
