I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
