??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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