i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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