Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
