STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize