He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
