yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
