if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
