No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
