So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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