I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize