So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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