He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize