WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Randomize
