Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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