OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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