He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
