dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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