The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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