dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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