i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
