i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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