ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
