bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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