It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You made out with two different species that night
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
