I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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