Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
