So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
