oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
